Note to Self

Reminder: 77d ago I was supposed to email, but a brother died and I never hit send. Does not recognize your fingerprint. The body was unidentified when they found it. About to die I just wanted you to know I’m about to die. They searched for more than 10d. Facedown in a puddle of water.

Cold holes in my teeth. Pica chewing ice. Pikachu. Craving and chewing ice (pagophagia) is often associated with iron deficiency anemia, although the reason is unclear. Cause of death, unknown. Craving and chewing. Raving and hewing. Ranting and spewing. I chew achoo and chew and chew. The sound is like bones breaking.

Reminder: 8d ago I was supposed to mail a letter. My wife and I are truly sorry that we will missed this joyful event because of schedule conflic. I can’t remember if I did. So sorry. Sorry all the time. Reminder: apologize. Remember: remember. Is it too late now to say sorry? I sent an e-mail—not the one I was supposed to send, Truly sorry that he will missed.—one subjected Condolences.

Everything smells like shit. Queasy on the bus goes round and round, round and round, round and round. Sick to my stomach but still craving. Craving iron is a bloodlust. Remember: eat your bloody vegetables. Impossible burgers, possible blood. Possible suicide. Facedown, where does all the shit go?

Reminder: lack of outrage is ire deficiency. Blood under the fingernails. They wash their hands, What died in there? I am afraid for the first time. They have torches. I have crushed. I have crushed ice. Hell hath no fury frozen over. The reminders are not effective. I never do what needs to be done.

Reminder: I am afraid.

Reminder: It is inside me.


Image Credits: Beating the Heat